


Amnesia's A Bitch

by FiveUmbrellaAcademy



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Aged-Up Number Five | The Boy, Amnesia, Angst, Diego Is So Confused, Established Relationship, Five's physically seventeen, Hurt Diego Hargreeves, Hurt Number Five | The Boy, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-03
Updated: 2020-11-22
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:54:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26686969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FiveUmbrellaAcademy/pseuds/FiveUmbrellaAcademy
Summary: Five teleports everywhere, shoving his family out of harm's way. Bullets fly left and right, fired from the leftover Commission agents.Five was so close. So close."Diego!'To Five's horror, Diego goes down as Five takes down the last gunmen a split second too late.Five immediately teleports beside Diego, crashing to his knees in his haste. His hands shake as he tentatively rolls his brother over."Shit, Diego -!"When Diego opens his eyes. Relief surges through Five. Diego's alive. The amateurs must've missed -Diego abruptly kisses Five."What the fuck?!" Various siblings exclaim, scattered around them in bewilderment.Meanwhile, Diego just props himself up, confused. Looking as though he didn't know what the hell he did wrong.OrAfter Diego gets shot, he has a case of backwards amnesia, claiming that Five and Diego are actually together.
Relationships: Number Five | The Boy/Diego Hargreeves
Comments: 13
Kudos: 199





	1. Amnesia

Five teleports everywhere, shoving his family out of harm's way. Bullets fly left and right, fired from the leftover Commission agents Vanya hadn't quite managed to wipe out prior to the fight with Lila. 

Five was so close. _So_ close.

" _Diego!'_

To Five's horror, Diego goes down as Five takes down the last gunmen, a swift blow with a knife to the neck just a split second too late. 

Five immediately teleports beside Diego, crashing to his knees in his haste. His hands shakes as he tentatively rolls his brother over, gaze searching wildly. 

" _Shit_ , Diego!" 

Five's eyes quickly roam Diego's chest, where he's certain Diego's been shot - 

Diego abruptly opens his eyes. Relief surges through Five. All the tenseness vanishes from Five's shoulders as he relaxes, the adrenaline fading into mere nothingness. 

_It's okay. Diego's alive._ His brother is safe. _Everyone's alive. The amateurs must've missed somehow -_

Diego abruptly _kisses_ Five.

Immediately, Five's brain short circuits. 

Distantly, Five's aware of the sudden chaos that occurs around them, as his siblings, all of whom were scattered a few short distance away, take in the completely unforseenable, unexpected scene. 

Five distinctly makes out variations of, "What the _fuck?!"_ And, "Er, did we miss something?"

He's also vaguely aware of Klaus' spluttering, ghosts quickly fading from view from the loss of Klaus' concentration, Allison's hands flying to her mouth and Luther looking like he's unsure whether he should be hauling Diego's ass far the _fuck_ away from Five. 

For the first time in his life, Five is frozen.

Meanwhile, Diego just moves backwards, props himself up on his elbows, groaning, albeit confused. Looking as though he didn't know what the hell he did wrong.

Five's heart is hammering. His heart is lodged in his throat.

For a few seconds, nobody _moves_. 

"Er, what the _hell_ , Diego?" Allison is the first to break the silence. She closes in on Five and Diego, one hand outstretched, tentatively staring at the latter sibling. Five who's still frozen on the ground next to Diego, and Diego who's grimacing in discomfort. "Did you hit your head when you got _shot_?" 

Five staggers to his feet, ignoring his siblings. Too much energy expended. That's - That's it. 

Of course, that has to be it. 

"Someone check if Di - the idiot has a concussion." Five mutters, getting to his feet and just away from Diego. _Shit_ , he needs to think. Lila is gone, Harlan's been dealt with and they have all the briefcases in the world lying next to the dead Commission agents.

All they have to do now is go back to 2019 and see if the apocalypse has been averted and the world has been saved. Vanya was the bomb, the catalyst, but that's been fixed. Diego... 

...Kissing him is another entirely different issue altogether. Five shakes his head. Either way, it's a topic he adamantly refuses his mind to linger on for even a second more. 

It's irrelevant why his heart _refuses_ to stop racing in his chest. 

Diego frowns, and for a second, it looked as if he's inexplicably reaching out to grasp Five's hand when he doubles over.

" _Shit_ , my chest is killing me." Diego groans. When he straightens, he catches sight of the dead Commission agents. "...What the _fuck_ happened here?" 

Klaus clasp his hands together in glee. Of course, Klaus innocently ignores Diego's direct question.

"Well, precious brother of mine. _You_ just popped a wet one on our littlest brother, dear Diego. And honestly, that. That, is just - "

Klaus spreads his hands, "...Making Luther shit his pants." 

" _Really_ , Klaus?" Luther scoffs, a few feet away from him. His brain is clearly still reeling from the sight he'd just witnessed, as he averts his gaze from Five. "That's hardly the issue here."

Vanya just sighs, rubbing her temples and muttering something about checking on Harlan. She, however, also shoots a lingering glance Five's way before she leaves.

Meanwhile, Allison just holds up a gloved hand in disbelief. 

"I'm sorry," Allison says, a sisterly tone ever present in her tone. "But can we get back to what just happened? Are you _crazy_ , Diego? You owe Five an apology." 

"What? Why the _fuck_ do I owe Five an apology?" Diego snaps back in irritation, still rubbing his chest. 

"Everyone, just _shut up_ for a second." Five bites out, ignoring how his damn _heart_ is still beating fast. _It's irrelevant._ _The significance of the act Diego'd just committed is_ irrelevant _._

Five runs his hand over his face. 

"You got _shot_ , Diego. Or rather, you fell from an impact indicating you've been shot, though there's no bullet wound I could make out. You hit you head, so _you_ have a concussion. Everyone, forget what just happened. It's irrelevant. _Everything_ is irrelavent unless it's related to getting us back home to see if -" 

Five abruptly disappears in a blink, mid-sentence, teleporting just a feet away, away from Diego.

Diego pauses, his fingers mere millimetres away from Five's just a split second ago. Five forces himself to ignore Diego's expression, a look of hurt coupled with confusion at Five's actions. 

Five ignores _all_ of it.

"Aw, I agree. They do make the sweetest couple," Klaus coos, softly. He tilts his head to an empty space, presumably to the ghosts who had aided in the brief battle of cleaning up the leftovers.

Five exhaled sharply, his patience sorely running thin. "He has a _concussion_ , Klaus." 

"What the _fuck_ is everyone talking about?" Diego cuts in, still seated on the grass, a second away from exploding. "I don't _have_ a fucking concussion." 

The next thing he says stumps Five and the rest of the Hargreaves' siblings into stunned silence.

"Me and Five are together."

 _Shit_. Five blankly thinks, his arms crossed. Diego's concussion is worse than any of them had originally thought.


	2. Amnesia Is... Strange

"What the _hell_ do we do?" Luther's hushed voice floats towards Five. He and Allison are standing, huddled just a few feet away from Five and Diego.

 _Clearly_ still discussing about the latter, significantly disoriented sibling.

Meanwhile, the dead Commission agents are still scattered around in the field. The briefcases are just _lying_ there. Everything else can be dealt later.

Everything _else_ was irrelevant. 

_Priorities, Number Five._ Five clenches his fists, his thoughts racing. 

For instance, there are so many tiny details that could affect their arrival back to 2019 that could alter the original timeline. Lila is now a loose thread. Not to mention, they'd also met the old man, which may inevitably change the course of their existence as they know it. 

Five grits his teeth, jaw tensing. Because of all of this, it doesn't _matter_ how confused and out of it Diego looks, still crouched on the grass. There's little weight on how hurt and vulnerable Diego is, presumably even more so with his, admittedly, rather concerning memory alterations from the narrowly missed gunshot fall. 

Irrelevant. Locate a suitable, working briefcase first. Gather everyone and travel back to 2019 _first_. Everything else is utterly and _completely_ \- 

Five kneels in front of Diego, looking straight into Diego's eyes. His very confused brother's eyes.

 _I don't_ have _a fucking concussion._ Diego had stated, his voice absolute. _Me and Five are_ _together._

Refusing to hesitate, Five mutely presses the back of his hand against Diego's forehead, checking his brother's temperature. He ignores how Diego doesn't seem slightly fazed by it. 

Five ignores how this should have been strange to Diego, considering how Five wasn't one to touch anyone, including his own siblings.

Ignores how it just seems so natural for Diego.

Exhaling sharply, Five just looks at Diego. Diego, who naturally gravitates to meet his gaze.

"So." Five says, removing his hand from Diego. The move that, Five notes, seemed to deepen the frown on Diego's expression.

"Admittedly, I'm increasingly concerned that your concussion isn't fading, Diego. That, plus your entirely normal state of being and lack of symptoms suggests that you don't, actually, have a concussion." 

At _all_ , apparently.

Shit. What is this mess, then? Possibilities, reasons, logical explanations begin forming in Five's brilliant mind.

_A small, distant part of Five, however, realises it's his first -_

Diego, who'd been staring openly at Five, reaches out to touch Five's arm. "Five -" 

"Keep your hands where I can _see_ them, or I swear to god I will do it for you." Five bites out, teeth gritted. Rationally, Five shouldn't be reacting this intensely.

 _Rationally,_ Five's heart should've settled by now. _It's just -_

Diego _._

Diego, who just wordlessly drops his hands.

Five doesn't have time for this. Five doesn't have time for _any_ of this, considering the circumstances. Shoving back his thoughts firmly to the _furthest_ corner of his mind, Five mentally checks his siblings' whereabouts. Vanya is checking up on Harlan, presumably inside the farmhouse with Sissy. Klaus is god knows where, and Luther and Allison are huddled a little ways away -

...Clearly talking about the two of them.

"They're not _together_ , Luther." Allison whispers, exasperation clearly evident in her voice. "Diego got _shot,_ well. Technically..."

Brilliant. Not only are they conversing about an entirely irrelevant, insignificant issue, the simple act to, at the very least, disguise the topic of the conversation in front of the _actual_ topic of conversation is clearly lost on them.

Five pointedly ignores the loaded glances Allison repeatedly shoots at him, and the confused, ' _not-sure-how-to-feel_ ', hesitant glances from Luther.

Refusing the urge to remind his brain dead siblings that there are far more important issues at hand here, Five just pinches the bridge of his nose in irritation. 

Meanwhile, in his peripheral vision, Diego just tears his gaze away from their siblings to look at Five. Immediately, Diego leans in closer, as if it was a usual, instinctive action to just _casually lean into Five's personal space._

Five forces himself to still, to not teleport _away_. This was _Diego_ , though one with memories with disturbingly confusing origins.

"Wait. They serious, Five? You're telling me we're not a thing -?" 

"No." Five abruptly cuts in, levelling his gaze intensely into Diego's. "We're not a _'thing',_ Diego. In this timeline or _any_ _other timeline_."

It suddenly hits Five that he needs to end _this_. From this point onwards, Five's in favour of ending any further line of discussion this conversation is heading. This vulnerability and the strange familiarity his brother is using with Five is unsettling, at the very least. It's getting in the way of priorities, which is to get himself and his family back to 2019 to see if they succeeded in _averting the goddamn apocalypse._

That, and Five just isn't - _used_ to it.

 _So, that's it, then._ Five's distantly aware he's resorting back to harsh quips and instinctively belittling retorts as a first line of defense. _Fine._ Five grits his teeth. _A perfectly justifiable means to an end._

...If that means Diego would snap out of this notion that Five and Diego are - 

That they're _somehow_ -

 _Me and Five are together._ Diego had stated, his voice absolute. As if he wasn't absolutely certain of anything else in his life, save for this _one_ _simple fact_.

Meanwhile, Diego just sits back, eyebrows furrowed in concentration. Mulling Five's biting retort over quietly in his head.

Seeing this, a tiny relieved part of Five flickers in his chest. _Finally._ Another, however, more confusing part of him feels a _pang_. Five refuses the irrational urge to scoff.

 _Of course,_ Five thinks, sardonically. _It'll be easier for Diego if he realises the restrictions of what a relationship with Five would entail is exonerated... In whichever messed up memories Diego has currently obtained, it must be extremely difficult to - to love someone like Five._

_...If not nigh impossible._

Swallowing hard, Five moves to stand up, completely averting Diego's gaze. True as it may be, Five having learnt that decades ago, admittedly it was still a bitter pill to swallow.

Finally. Perhaps this strange amnesia Diego is suffering from is over, or at the very least, they can possibly start moving forward. Mind flashing back to the present problem at hand, Five just needs to locate and _hotwire_ a functioning briefcase and they'll be on their _respective ways -_

" _Fuck_." Hesitantly, Five glances back at Diego, his heart still traitorously skipping with a pang. 

"This is just fucking great."

Diego steadily looks up to meet Five's gaze. "Did you know how long it took me to actually woo you over? Now I gotta do this shit all over again?" A hint of a smile in Diego's smirk. 

Five scoffs, ripping his gaze away from Diego. "Shut _up_ , Diego." Five's ears are burning, as he looks elsewhere. 

_End. The line. Of topic._

"Everything you're saying is _irrelevant_ , Diego," Five bites out, steadily, adamantly _refusing_ to entertain the implications of what Diego's words could mean.

Fixating his exasperated gaze back on Diego, Five jabs Diego's chest. " _You_ are experiencing head trauma which we'll _fix_ once we get back -" 

"Listen, Five." Diego abruptly cuts in, voice dropping to a hushed tone. Distantly, Five's aware Diego almost grasps his hand, before dropping it. Vaguely, Five realizes it's a level of hush reserved only for couples in an established relationship, a hush when conscious of casual onlookers. 

Five is _consciously_ aware of, is that _none of these actions_ should be used between _Five and Diego -_

Diego suddenly grips Five's shoulders, urgently. Once, Five would've caught Diego's wrist, keep it from touching him. 

This time, well. Five's first line of defense isn't working all too well. 

"I know you think you have to do everything alone," Diego says, attempting to look directly into Five's gaze. "But you don't have to. Not this time.'

Diego hesitates, before there's a heart clenchingly reassuring hand gripping Five's shoulders. "You've got me. I ain't going anywhere. In this timeline or the next." Diego's voice drops lower, softer. "You don't gotta know all the answers, Five." A genuine look of sincerity in Diego's eyes.

"Just know - just know I'll be there every step of the way. 

Five's heart _clenches_ painfully. Sometime, somewhere during that little speech, he'd stopped breathing. Five swallows hard. 

Diego's standing far too close. 

_No_. Attempting to regain his composure, Five refuses to believe that these are words he needed to hear. Refuses to accept that these are the words he'd _always_ wanted to hear.

_"After all of this," Vanya asks, softly. "What are you going to do, Five?" Around them, his siblings are obnoxiously making plans, all of which painfully excluded Five. They'd all been on the verge of total exhaustion. It's only natural they'd start looking beyond the bleakness and despair of their situation._

_"I don't know." Five had admitted, averting her gaze. He powers through, though, answers in forced nonchalance. "Don't worry, Vanya. I won't be in your way."_

_The words goes unsaid, as plans are organized loudly around him without Five. "I'm aware when I'm not needed."_

Diego just moves closer, taking advantage of Five's inadvertently dropped guard, defensive walls momentarily lowered as Five attempts to rationalize his confusing thoughts. "You ain't getting rid of me that easily, swee -" 

_"Wait."_ Luther splutters, and suddenly he's _standing_ _right next to them_. "So you guys - are actually a _thing?_ When - _how_ \- did this even have _time_ to happen - ?"

Five briskly _teleports_ away from Diego. Reappearing a few feet away from him, Five doesn't miss how Diego staggers, disoriented from the sudden lack of _Five._

"Good timing, you imbecile. I've made up my mind." Five swallows, intentionally averting Diego's gaze. "We're leaving. Right now." 

"See, Allison?" Luther glances back, gesturing wildly at an exasperated, though now, increasingly unsure Allison. "I'm _telling_ you, Diego and Five are actually -" 

Five just thrusts a gesture at Diego's general vicinity. " _Diego_ still has a concussion, Luther. And do everyone a favour, and make yourself useful. Find Klaus. Allison, get Vanya. Diego, find a briefcase -"

Five cuts off abruptly. Because Diego's already checking through the briefcases.

"Shit…" Five breathes. His gaze fixated on Diego. Diego, who's flipping over each and every briefcase in sight. 

Once. Just _once_ , Five wanted his siblings to listen, to have their priorities in the correct order. To meet a _simple_ deadline or order to just save the world. 

Diego thumps a briefcase, figuring out which one was still in acceptable condition. Muttering something about Herb. A joke, perhaps. 

Five _swallows_.

...There isn't an odd warmth slightly flickering inside Five. There isn't a strange sense of comfort, a feeling of 'if something goes wrong, it might still be acceptable'. There isn't a stray thought that perhaps Five isn't as unwanted, unneeded after saving the world as he'd long since resigned to... 

There _isn't_.

There's just...Diego.

Heart still painfully clenched, Five's firmly resolute to the conclusion that Diego is still suffering from some sort of - head trauma. One that inevitably involves Five, summoning _feelings_ that Five doesn't have the time _or_ luxury to comprehend, what with an impending mission to see how they might have _altered the timeline._

So, evidently, Five's first line of defense isn't working. The second line of defense, is to undeniably refute any notions that they might ever be a 'thing'. 

Because that was impossible.

Refute it, before Five is dangerously drawn into unfamiliar territory, like a broken moth attracted to a flame, desperately wondering if - what _if_ \- 

Diego's stalking back to Five.

 _No_. Five grits his teeth, driving away the thought. For Five's brilliant mind to continue working at its full capacity, to get his siblings back home, is to stay focused at the important task at hand. Once they arrive home, after they averted the apocalypse, Five will ensure Diego's head trauma is fixed. 

Hence, Five is resolute. _They are not, and can never be, a 'thing'._

Even as Diego stalks forward, a grin on his face as he victoriously thumps down an actual functioning briefcase. 

Five's gaze flickers up to meet Diego's. 

_We're not a_ thing _, Diego._ Five thinks.

Diego's body language is equally resolute. _Not yet_ , Diego's wink seems to say.

Five says nothing, just mutely kneels down to inspect the briefcase. And as he does, a tiny part of Five does not _\- does_ _not_ \- traitorously wonder what a relationship with his brother might actually entail. 

_Diego_ , Five reminds himself, _has a concussion, after all._


End file.
